Courage to Make it Count
- By nat rosasco
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- 04 Jan, 2018
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What does it all mean?
It’s not easy to make meaning out of something as horrible and senseless as the Orlando tragedy. It’s not easy to make meaning out of any attack, hardship, or misfortune. It’s easy to stay quiet and focus on other things. In the face of the utterly heart wrenching attack in Orlando I found myself speechless, numb, and wanting to every other thing on my list than thinking about Orlando. And I didn’t stay totally shut down either. The truth is, I am experiencing a huge range of emotions. Maybe you are too? I feel heart pumping anger, deep overwhelming grief, and terrifying fear. For a few days, I was so overwhelmed that I retreated to protect myself in all the little pieces and particles of my busy life. That’s the easy thing to do. It’s what we humans often do when things get crazy and senseless “out there”.
Fortunately, I managed to stay. I stayed open enough to listen to what others are saying. I allowed myself to be inspired by other’s words. I am hearing friends and colleagues experience their own anger, fear, and grief. And I’m finding some comfort in our collective experience of this tragedy. I am watching the world unite and respond, I am hear people choosing to engage. Strong leaders and ordinary heroes who have the courage to respond. We are collectively searching for meaning in this senseless attack. We all want for those beautiful lives to be remembered and honored. We want for their loss to be the seed of something worthy.
It takes courage to make meaning. It means you have to somehow accept what has happened and work to create something of value out of it. Even as I type these words, it’s insane to me to think about “creating value” out of senseless, violent act. To move forward from this in a way that matters does not mean we have to accept it. In fact, it’s just the opposite… It means we have to be brave enough to come out of our protective shells and experience the emotional roller coaster including the shattering depths of sorrow and loss. And we have to decide to respond individually and together. This is not an easy thing to do when everything in us wants to reject, or otherwise hide from the pain. Whether it’s a senseless act of terrorism, a toxic situation at work, or life threatening cancer, it takes courage to make it count. Next time you want to run and hide, (call me! …and) find the courage to engage.
Here’s how we work through this to make meaning together
- Listen
- Talk to others
- Focus on our collective humanity rather than religion or politics
- Have the courage to stay
Here are a few leaders I think are making meaning of this event with messages of integration, respect, and hope. I’d love to hear what you have to say too.
- Dalai lama “Why I’m Hopeful About The World’s Future” http://www.dalailama.com/messages/articles/hopeful
- President of Israel “United Against Fanatic Hatred” https://www.facebook.com/IsraeliPM/?pnref=story
- Karen Kimsey-House “Say No To Fear (And Yes To Love)” https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/say-fear-karen-kimsey-house
- Chat with Bex Taylor-Klaus about Orlando and the LGBT community on MTV https://www.facebook.com/MTV/videos/10153814078506701/
- Elizabeth Cooper Free Speaker Series on Queer Body Love http://thequeerbodyloveseries.com
- Roxanna Kopp Smith has created a guided meditation for people struggling in the aftermath of this traumatic event https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4tD3118b8LM&feature=youtu.be
We are all Meaning Makers. Meaning Makers don’t choose just the happy events to make meaning from. We make meaning out of it all. We find a way to create forward.
Barb
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How you handle complexity is critical to job success today. How well are you doing on that scale?
LEVERAGE
The ability to influence a system, or an environment, in a way that multiplies the outcome of one’s efforts without a corresponding increase in the consumption of resources. In other words, leverage is the advantageous condition of having a relatively small amount of cost yield a relatively high level of returns. (Business Dictionary)
To Navigate Complexity you need Leverage
So you can feel it, right? You world just keeps getting more and more unpredictable, overwhelming, complicated, and intense. Unfortunately that is not going to end. We are in the Age of Acceleration. We call it a VUCA world (Volatile, Uncertain, changing, and Ambiguous)
As leaders we need to accept this new age and state of being. There is no longer an EASY BUTTON to push. What that means is we have to learn how to navigate the complexity and surf the chaos rather than stay in a reactive place.
You need Leverage. You need to find ways to navigate that are more efficient and effective without needing more input or energy from you. The way to do that is to start from the inside out. You need to pause and reflect in order to get clear on what matters to you and find your fuel. Your fuel is your multiplier or leverage. You also then need to band together with others and find creative leverage working together.
Some tips…
It might seem counter intuitive, but schedule consistent “white space” reflection time.
Find your Fuel and Fill up your tank
Don’t go it alone.
I just love a good ending. A solid period at the end of the sentence. Here in December, I take the opportunity to pause reflect on the past year so that I can put a good crisp ending on it. When I look back, I look for accomplishments and wins that may have faded off my radar as more pressing priorities and complexities come up. I also own up to challenges and bumps in the road so I can integrate the learning. Most of all, I get really focused on what I can wrap up, leave behind, and let go of. Because, quite frankly, I don’t have the time or the energy to drag things around that really don’t have importance or value anymore.
We are often so overwhelmed by complexity, that we don’t pay attention to endings because we’re already off on the next new thing. You may think you don’t have time, but it’s essential to make time to consciously complete.
So here are some ideas for you to pause, reflect, and complete so you can launch into a new year with a lighter load.
- Look at all your to-do’s, business leads, projects, relationships, and responsibilities. Decide which of these needs to be completed or moved off your active to-do list.
- Reflect on your challenges and mistakes in the last year. Decide what you need to take away and learn from them. Then trust that you don’t need to carry anything but the learning from this.
- Look at any other areas for growth or development and maybe there are some bad habits or behaviors or beliefs that don’t serve you going forward. Write of lists of these things that you say NO to going forward.
I’ve included a great end of year reflection template for you to download and try out. I’d be interested to hear what your end of year completion ritual is.
For some of you, just getting clear on these is enough. For others, you may like a ritual to truly complete. You can write what you’re ending on paper that you throw away or throw in a fire (safely!). You can plan a hike to reflect on what you’re letting go as you walk up. Then when you get to the top, you can leave it up there. you can point towards what you’re creating. Or you can talk to a friend or coach to process through what you’re completing.
However you do this, you’ll be glad you did. You’ll feel clear and lighter as you let go.
Many blessings to you in this season of endings and new beginnings
About the experience of ending: John O’Donohue
Experience has its own secret structuring. Endings are natural. Often what alarm us as ending can in fact be the opening of a new journey – a new beginning that we could never be anticipated; one that engages forgotten parts of the heart. Due to the current overlay of therapy terminology in our language, everyone now seems to wish for “closure.” This word is unfortunate, it is not faithful to the open-ended rhythm of experience. Creatures made of clay with porous skin and porous minds are quite incapable of the hermetic sealing that the strategy of “closure” seems to imply. The word completion is a truer word. … When the person manages to trust experience and be open to it, the experience finds its own way to realization. Though such an ending may be awkward and painful, there is a sense of wholesomeness and authenticity about it. Then the heart will gradually find that this stage has run its course and the ending is substantial and true. Eventually the person emerges with a deeper sense of freedom, certainty and integration.
John O’Donohue, To Bless the Space Between Us, “Beyond Endings” p. 157