Who are your people
- By nat rosasco
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- 02 Jan, 2018
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I just heard the news this morning that one of my friends is beginning a battle with cancer. She will literally be fighting for her life in the next few months. All I can think is that I’m so very glad she is surrounded by a strong community of family and friends to support her, and that’s what will make all the difference in winning this fight.
You might be wondering how this relates to corporate or business conversations about leadership. I believe my friend’s battle with cancer has everything to do with it. WE ARE HUMAN. Humans survive and thrive as relational beings. The only definition of leadership that really matters is how we connect and take care of each other and how we succeed together. My friend has been a leader all her life. She has built trust and relationships in how she cares for her family, friends, co-workers, and communities without expecting anything in return. And now, when she needs her tribe, we will find a way to be there for her in whatever way we can.
Last week I heard Simon Sinek’s keynote talk based on his book “Leaders Eat Last”. I think this story best sums up the dynamic that evolves between a true leader and their people…
“I heard a story of some Marines who were out in theater, and as is the Marine custom, the officer ate last, and he let his men eat first, and when they were done, there was no food left for him. And when they went back out in the field, his men brought him some of their food so that he may eat, because that’s what happens. We call them leaders because they go first. We call them leaders because they take the risk before anybody else does. We call them leaders because they will choose to sacrifice so that their people may be safe and protected and so their people may gain, and when we do, the natural response is that our people will sacrifice for us. They will give us their blood and sweat and tears to see that their leader’s vision comes to life, and when we ask them, “Why would you do that? Why would you give your blood and sweat and tears for that person?” they all say the same thing: “Because they would have done it for me.” Simon Sinek, “Why Good Leaders Make You Feel Safe” TED2014
So, I hope you can find 5 minutes today to think about your people, your tribes. Reflect on these questions, and as you do, know that you are taking time to be human and you are choosing to be a leader. Your life is so precious. Who you are in relationship with, how you relate to them, and what you accomplish together are truly the most important measures of your life’s success.
- Who are your people? What relationships matter most to you? What communities and tribes do you belong
to? Who do you lead? - How are you caring for your people? What risks are you taking to protect them? How are you putting your people
first? - Let’s be honest… Where have you played it safe, overcommitted, gotten distracted, or let your tribe fend for
themselves? - What is one thing you can do now, today, this weekend, next week to build a stronger relationship with someone in
your tribe?
I’m sending you many blessings for the courage to take big risks for the sake of the people you love.
Be well and thanks for being part of my tribe.
Barb
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Motivated ones, whether that motivation is to reach greater heights, or to save their job. In both cases, it’s necessary for the leader to deeply want to change and grow.
How you handle complexity is critical to job success today. How well are you doing on that scale?
LEVERAGE
The ability to influence a system, or an environment, in a way that multiplies the outcome of one’s efforts without a corresponding increase in the consumption of resources. In other words, leverage is the advantageous condition of having a relatively small amount of cost yield a relatively high level of returns. (Business Dictionary)
To Navigate Complexity you need Leverage
So you can feel it, right? You world just keeps getting more and more unpredictable, overwhelming, complicated, and intense. Unfortunately that is not going to end. We are in the Age of Acceleration. We call it a VUCA world (Volatile, Uncertain, changing, and Ambiguous)
As leaders we need to accept this new age and state of being. There is no longer an EASY BUTTON to push. What that means is we have to learn how to navigate the complexity and surf the chaos rather than stay in a reactive place.
You need Leverage. You need to find ways to navigate that are more efficient and effective without needing more input or energy from you. The way to do that is to start from the inside out. You need to pause and reflect in order to get clear on what matters to you and find your fuel. Your fuel is your multiplier or leverage. You also then need to band together with others and find creative leverage working together.
Some tips…
It might seem counter intuitive, but schedule consistent “white space” reflection time.
Find your Fuel and Fill up your tank
Don’t go it alone.
I just love a good ending. A solid period at the end of the sentence. Here in December, I take the opportunity to pause reflect on the past year so that I can put a good crisp ending on it. When I look back, I look for accomplishments and wins that may have faded off my radar as more pressing priorities and complexities come up. I also own up to challenges and bumps in the road so I can integrate the learning. Most of all, I get really focused on what I can wrap up, leave behind, and let go of. Because, quite frankly, I don’t have the time or the energy to drag things around that really don’t have importance or value anymore.
We are often so overwhelmed by complexity, that we don’t pay attention to endings because we’re already off on the next new thing. You may think you don’t have time, but it’s essential to make time to consciously complete.
So here are some ideas for you to pause, reflect, and complete so you can launch into a new year with a lighter load.
- Look at all your to-do’s, business leads, projects, relationships, and responsibilities. Decide which of these needs to be completed or moved off your active to-do list.
- Reflect on your challenges and mistakes in the last year. Decide what you need to take away and learn from them. Then trust that you don’t need to carry anything but the learning from this.
- Look at any other areas for growth or development and maybe there are some bad habits or behaviors or beliefs that don’t serve you going forward. Write of lists of these things that you say NO to going forward.
I’ve included a great end of year reflection template for you to download and try out. I’d be interested to hear what your end of year completion ritual is.
For some of you, just getting clear on these is enough. For others, you may like a ritual to truly complete. You can write what you’re ending on paper that you throw away or throw in a fire (safely!). You can plan a hike to reflect on what you’re letting go as you walk up. Then when you get to the top, you can leave it up there. you can point towards what you’re creating. Or you can talk to a friend or coach to process through what you’re completing.
However you do this, you’ll be glad you did. You’ll feel clear and lighter as you let go.
Many blessings to you in this season of endings and new beginnings
About the experience of ending: John O’Donohue
Experience has its own secret structuring. Endings are natural. Often what alarm us as ending can in fact be the opening of a new journey – a new beginning that we could never be anticipated; one that engages forgotten parts of the heart. Due to the current overlay of therapy terminology in our language, everyone now seems to wish for “closure.” This word is unfortunate, it is not faithful to the open-ended rhythm of experience. Creatures made of clay with porous skin and porous minds are quite incapable of the hermetic sealing that the strategy of “closure” seems to imply. The word completion is a truer word. … When the person manages to trust experience and be open to it, the experience finds its own way to realization. Though such an ending may be awkward and painful, there is a sense of wholesomeness and authenticity about it. Then the heart will gradually find that this stage has run its course and the ending is substantial and true. Eventually the person emerges with a deeper sense of freedom, certainty and integration.
John O’Donohue, To Bless the Space Between Us, “Beyond Endings” p. 157