Tell Me Why
- By nat rosasco
- •
- 18 Jan, 2018
- •
The Art of Why
Hey… play with me a bit…
- Why is the sky blue?
- Why are you doing that?
- Why not do that?
- What’s your ‘why’?
One little word, so many different impacts. Sometimes asking ‘why’ comes off as a challenge, sometimes ‘why’ feels full of purpose. And sometimes it feels like the curiosity of a kindergartener. Interesting, isn’t it? Why talk about ‘why’? Well, it is a powerful word. In our work and life relationships, it can be used to build trust and connection, or it can be used in a way that creates friction and unproductive challenge. When I train coaches to ask powerful questions, I teach them to avoid using ‘why’. Try starting questions with ‘what’ or ‘how’ instead and see what happens.
Let’s play with it. I’m going to use a little more ‘why not’ for a while. I’ll be super curious what comes up for you. Here’s some things to try with your ‘why’…
- Get curious… ask lot’s of questions, play like a 5 year old.
- Ask yourself ‘why not’?
- Get connected to your bigger ‘why’, your purpose or why you’re here
- Wonder about the people and organizations around you –what’s their ‘why’?
- Start your questions with ‘what’ instead of ‘why’
Have a fantastic weekend!
Barb
Expanding your range as a leader, and a person, are critical to higher levels of performance. Getting there on your own is hard; getting there with the help of a coach can be transformative.
Learn what leads to transformation and growth for an individual or a team from working with a top-level coach.
Coming to grips with hard truths isn’t easy, but growth can’t happen without that. Here’s how we guide that journey.
Energy + Focus = Results. (It’s that simple — and so much more. And it can absolutely change your business and your life!)
Motivated ones, whether that motivation is to reach greater heights, or to save their job. In both cases, it’s necessary for the leader to deeply want to change and grow.
How you handle complexity is critical to job success today. How well are you doing on that scale?
LEVERAGE
The ability to influence a system, or an environment, in a way that multiplies the outcome of one’s efforts without a corresponding increase in the consumption of resources. In other words, leverage is the advantageous condition of having a relatively small amount of cost yield a relatively high level of returns. (Business Dictionary)
To Navigate Complexity you need Leverage
So you can feel it, right? You world just keeps getting more and more unpredictable, overwhelming, complicated, and intense. Unfortunately that is not going to end. We are in the Age of Acceleration. We call it a VUCA world (Volatile, Uncertain, changing, and Ambiguous)
As leaders we need to accept this new age and state of being. There is no longer an EASY BUTTON to push. What that means is we have to learn how to navigate the complexity and surf the chaos rather than stay in a reactive place.
You need Leverage. You need to find ways to navigate that are more efficient and effective without needing more input or energy from you. The way to do that is to start from the inside out. You need to pause and reflect in order to get clear on what matters to you and find your fuel. Your fuel is your multiplier or leverage. You also then need to band together with others and find creative leverage working together.
Some tips…
It might seem counter intuitive, but schedule consistent “white space” reflection time.
Find your Fuel and Fill up your tank
Don’t go it alone.
I just love a good ending. A solid period at the end of the sentence. Here in December, I take the opportunity to pause reflect on the past year so that I can put a good crisp ending on it. When I look back, I look for accomplishments and wins that may have faded off my radar as more pressing priorities and complexities come up. I also own up to challenges and bumps in the road so I can integrate the learning. Most of all, I get really focused on what I can wrap up, leave behind, and let go of. Because, quite frankly, I don’t have the time or the energy to drag things around that really don’t have importance or value anymore.
We are often so overwhelmed by complexity, that we don’t pay attention to endings because we’re already off on the next new thing. You may think you don’t have time, but it’s essential to make time to consciously complete.
So here are some ideas for you to pause, reflect, and complete so you can launch into a new year with a lighter load.
- Look at all your to-do’s, business leads, projects, relationships, and responsibilities. Decide which of these needs to be completed or moved off your active to-do list.
- Reflect on your challenges and mistakes in the last year. Decide what you need to take away and learn from them. Then trust that you don’t need to carry anything but the learning from this.
- Look at any other areas for growth or development and maybe there are some bad habits or behaviors or beliefs that don’t serve you going forward. Write of lists of these things that you say NO to going forward.
I’ve included a great end of year reflection template for you to download and try out. I’d be interested to hear what your end of year completion ritual is.
For some of you, just getting clear on these is enough. For others, you may like a ritual to truly complete. You can write what you’re ending on paper that you throw away or throw in a fire (safely!). You can plan a hike to reflect on what you’re letting go as you walk up. Then when you get to the top, you can leave it up there. you can point towards what you’re creating. Or you can talk to a friend or coach to process through what you’re completing.
However you do this, you’ll be glad you did. You’ll feel clear and lighter as you let go.
Many blessings to you in this season of endings and new beginnings
About the experience of ending: John O’Donohue
Experience has its own secret structuring. Endings are natural. Often what alarm us as ending can in fact be the opening of a new journey – a new beginning that we could never be anticipated; one that engages forgotten parts of the heart. Due to the current overlay of therapy terminology in our language, everyone now seems to wish for “closure.” This word is unfortunate, it is not faithful to the open-ended rhythm of experience. Creatures made of clay with porous skin and porous minds are quite incapable of the hermetic sealing that the strategy of “closure” seems to imply. The word completion is a truer word. … When the person manages to trust experience and be open to it, the experience finds its own way to realization. Though such an ending may be awkward and painful, there is a sense of wholesomeness and authenticity about it. Then the heart will gradually find that this stage has run its course and the ending is substantial and true. Eventually the person emerges with a deeper sense of freedom, certainty and integration.
John O’Donohue, To Bless the Space Between Us, “Beyond Endings” p. 157